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They Don’t Make ‘Em Like That Anymore

The matter of installing the new Ring Doorbell that afternoon had not gone as expected by a long…See More
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We are a worldwide social network of freethinkers, atheists, agnostics and secular humanists.

Almost six years ago, my former husband broke her cupboard and came out as a woman. To that day we had not understood why she had suffered so long and so very much from anxiety and depression. The situation called for change, and things started at an increasing rate. In the next months we  started to find her clothes and she went to her job in a dress, wearing a wig until her hair grew longer. Intake at the gender clinic started and a year later she started hormones and hair removal. In the meantime she applied for an administrative sex change and she got a new name and a new passport. Things went slowly, the waiting lists were very long and Covid stopped all operations for a year. Luca’s turn for surgery came at long last, five years after coming out. We hope a few minor operations can be done in the next six months.

What happened to us? We were and still are so enormously relieved that the anxiety and depression are so much less than before. And we’re enjoying ourselves! We’re still the same old couple, with different labels, but we don’t care about that. We’re closer, happier and more carefree than ever, even if we lost a few people, but that felt like a spring cleaning. Most people understood that changes were only for the better and that we were the same as ever. Nothing destroyed real friendship.

Now and then I wrote about our transition on AN and later on AU. Comments were always sympathetic, kind and understanding. We’re very grateful for that, and  hope all trans couples get such a treatment! Thanks, dear friends, for taking part in this story, that means very much to us!

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Comment was by Ian Mason on September 10, 2022 at 4:24am

Thanks for sharing, Chris. The long waits caused by C19 were frustrating but you came through it all. What stands out is how natural the change has been for both of you and how content you are now. I hope the coming years are happy ones for you and Luca.

Comment was by Joan Denoo on September 9, 2022 at 11:07pm

Thank you, Chris B., for sharing your story with us and allowing us to take this journey with you. I am proud of you both and grateful for the ways you helped me to understand your decisions, how you made them, and why. Although the process presented challenges, you met each one, and you not only survived, you thrived. Good for you! 

Comment was by Stephen Brodie on September 9, 2022 at 5:52pm

So pleased for both of you. 

Comment was by Mrs.B on September 9, 2022 at 2:37pm

A long road, but pleased everything has come along it well.

Comment was by Lachailill McLennan on September 8, 2022 at 10:52am

Nice to read a positive story like this.

Comment was by Clifford Cook on September 7, 2022 at 10:36pm

It sounds like a very challenging process. I can't believe anyone thinks people go through all of this just because of "peer pressure" or "woke culture" or anything like that. 

Being human is full of ambiguity. It's not simple. Life doesn't travel in a straight line.

I hope that you and she are doing well, and enjoying the good friends who have stuck with you through it all.

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