L.o. fucking l, I officially pulled the trigger on my religion millions of years ago,but now there's a gaping hole in my brain. Don't worry,the holes is on the side of my fucked up mind so,nothing is leaking out(not to mention i shit out Allah a long long time ago). So what the fuck is the problem. I don't know
That same Allah fuck-nut once said "I am who i am",but i stole his words as he stole my life. But bye,"Allah" i don't care.
I remember defiantly walking half way across a city(not a gaint one like new york city) to visit a mosque,i knew i fucked (because i would be late to coming home and my then-asshole parents would find out),and yet i walked anyway. Bye Allah,like a curved fish hook,i pulled it out,but not so cleanly like a layman,i ripped the fucking thing out.
That fish hook was much like time, curved,almost even circular. It pierced me. Came in one hole curved around and then made a second one. And ripping (not pulling) it out was a real bitch. It left more of a wound than it did coming in. Wounds heal and leave a scar.
So what is my brain-no rather what is my skull like? Its an empty hollow cave now with drawings on the side,i imagine a darkish pink and purple etchings of a once living flesh on one side, written in C++,and scratches on the other,but don't look forward,the light seeping through the (upper) back tells the story of it's own,a window looking out into a black and well,pinkish world of what used to be my brains.
I used to imagine a little room in my mind,just a l ittle one to be exact one willed will books as magical as the quran and bible and torah guarded by an evil mysterious presence,what was it in reality. It was Allah. In a time when sorrowful days were nice,i saw glimpses a man named Allah, a man who(in this black and pinkish realm) would disappear whenever I turned to the same corner as him,but this me and Allah no heart,and no head,so which would I give to him after I did all this searching to find my own,but there was only room for one organ in this fucked up world along with a knife,when I gave him my heart,he was “caring and compassionate and loving”-- so he killed himself and set me free,but as for my head-- that fucker stole it and stabbed me over and over,made me suffer to save his own ass from the curse that was my mind. Why? Because he thought more “rationally” with the very utility I used to think and decided he needed to live and escape this madhouse of my mind.
So here I am,dead and lifeless,still crawling for the window that sits atop my lifeless brainless body that brought me peace,the light comes in,looking for an escape of this fucking pain,saying “blah blah blah There is a God blah blah blah blah”. But just as I returned the the mosque ,minutes away from a fuckfest known as home,i return to a fuckfest known as life,blah.blah,blah...(and there certainly is a fuckfest known as al-Lah… not the abrahamic one,but “the God” waiting for me after death,after all,who else could fuck up such a truly beautiful head)