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Mrs.B commented on Doone's group Earth, Canada and a Scump Sharpie Affected World News
"Sounds like some truth to that."
5 hours ago
Stephen commented on Doone's group Earth, Canada and a Scump Sharpie Affected World News
5 hours ago
Stephen commented on A Former Member's group Animal | Vegetable | Mineral | Fungus or Scump or Boris
"Now that's specializing, the aye-with its long finger"
5 hours ago
Mrs.B commented on A Former Member's group Animal | Vegetable | Mineral | Fungus or Scump or Boris
"Some things are just so weird."
5 hours ago
Doone commented on A Former Member's group Animal | Vegetable | Mineral | Fungus or Scump or Boris
"The giant aye-aye (Daubentonia robusta) was 2-2.5 times bigger than the present-day…"
5 hours ago
Ana Pirs replied to Neal's discussion Vegetables in the group Vegetarian and Vegan Atheists
"Hi! I'm a fan of Baked Cauliflower Buffalo Bites Try!)) "
7 hours ago
Ana Pirs commented on Sydni Moser's group Vegetarian and Vegan Atheists
"Hi! I'm a fan of Baked Cauliflower Buffalo Bites Try!)) "
7 hours ago
Clayton Rhofes commented on Clayton Rhofes's blog post Can a native Arabic speaker clarify this
"I been an ex-mooze now for a while,(dear muslims shut the fuck up,i dont want to talk about your…"
8 hours ago
Clayton Rhofes commented on Clayton Rhofes's blog post Can a native Arabic speaker clarify this
"Muslims told me that i am stupid and cant understand simple words,sorry for accidently converting…"
8 hours ago
Clayton Rhofes posted blog posts
8 hours ago
Doone commented on Doone's group Earth, Canada and a Scump Sharpie Affected World News
"From TPM about the recent Isreali elections With 98% of the vote counted, Benny Gantz and Blue and…"
8 hours ago
Mrs.B commented on Doone's group Earth, Canada and a Scump Sharpie Affected World News
"That's disgusting, Stephen."
10 hours ago
Mrs.B replied to Lutz's discussion Protecting Information Space from Facebook’s Tyranny Author: Ulson Gunnar
"I don't like flakebook at all."
11 hours ago
Doone commented on Doone's group Earth, Canada and a Scump Sharpie Affected World News
"In 2017, scientists found a new species of orangutan (P. Scumpis) in remote offices of Washington-…"
11 hours ago
Doone commented on A Former Member's group Animal | Vegetable | Mineral | Fungus or Scump or Boris
"The Mexican dog-faced bat (Cynomops mexicanus) from Central America. (Photo: Jose…"
11 hours ago
Doone commented on A Former Member's group Animal | Vegetable | Mineral | Fungus or Scump or Boris
"The grumpy looking cape rain frog. (Photo: Abu Shawka)"
11 hours ago
Stephen commented on A Former Member's group The Burgeoning Family Tree of Monkey Men and Women
"Denisovans: Face of long-lost human relative unveiledResearchers have provided the first glimpse of…"
12 hours ago
Stephen commented on Doone's group Earth, Canada and a Scump Sharpie Affected World News
"(This story truly emphasises the utter contempt that the aristocrats' of the Tory Party has…"
13 hours ago
Lutz posted discussions
20 hours ago
Lutz replied to Dad the Baker's discussion Non Atheist Discussion
"I used to fast for 36 hrs or 2 days a while back. By day 2 got over the hunger pangs - which really…"
20 hours ago

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Freethought and Funny Bones

Information

Freethought and Funny Bones

A group for freethinking humor. Let's share a good laugh, it always helps to see things more clearly.

Atheist Universe Comedy Cellar

Location: #life
Members: 62
Latest Activity: Sep 7

Discussion Forum

..., because there is no god.

Started by Tom Sarbeck. Last reply by Chris Jun 24. 15 Replies

Donald Trump, because there is no god.

Tags: godless

Mexican Flag From Trump Tower in Canada

Started by Mrs.B. Last reply by Mrs.B Aug 23, 2018. 4 Replies

In the news…Continue

Begging

Started by Mrs.B. Last reply by Mrs.B Feb 26, 2017. 7 Replies

In the news…Continue

The Stand-up Comedy Clip Thread

Started by A Former Member. Last reply by Chris Nov 5, 2016. 10 Replies

Post your favorite stand-up comedian skits here. No limits on content, but if it is NSFW please say so. I like the old-timers.   Here's a Phyllis Diller impersonator.    Continue

Tags: humor, comedians, stand-up, comedy

CRACKED

5 Disturbing Origins Of Everyday Technology

By Ryan Menezes  Published: September 19th, 2019 

5 Stories That Prove Having A Hollywood Body Is A Nightmare

By Mark Hill  Published: September 19th, 2019 

Watch The Trailer For 'Cuck,' An Alt-Right Incel Horror Film

By Cedric Voets  Published: September 18th, 2019 

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Comment by Stephen on August 24, 2019 at 10:10pm

"burning of Donald Trump in effigy."

I like it, Mrs B.

Comment by Mrs.B on August 24, 2019 at 2:24pm

Greenland Is Sold To Barack Obama For $1

Nuuk, Greenland – The 44th President of the United States Barack Obama is now the owner of the world’s largest island, Greenland. In an unconventional move, the government of Denmark and the people of Greenland decided on the sale late last night.


”President Trump pushed back a meeting with Denmark because we refuse even to consider selling Greenland to the United States,” stated Denmark’s Prime Minister Andrew Kanard. “We thought the appropriate response was to sell Greenland to President Obama for one dollar.”


Greenland is officially a county of Denmark. The island was granted home rule by the Danish in 1979. Denmark’s government appoints a High Commissioner to act as its voice in Greenland. Locals control most of Greenland’s affairs, leaving defense and foreign relations to Denmark.


Many wonder at how quickly the Danish government and the people of Greenland acted. Within hours of President Trump’s response to Denmark’s refusal to sell the island with a population of approximately 57,000, the deal of the century was cemented with Barack Obama.


”You want to know what unifies people?” asked Prime Minister Kanard. “A severe dislike for Donald Trump.”


Greenlanders are overwhelmingly happy with their new landlord. 89% voted for the sale. Of course, the specifics of the deal don’t change the status quo too much. Barack Obama is the honorary owner of Greenland. The island still has home rule. Denmark remains officially in charge.


However, there is one significant change. Every August 21st from now on will be Barack Obama Day in Greenland and Denmark. The new holiday will include all-night parties and a special burning of Donald Trump in effigy.

The White House is wondering what it will do. Insiders state President Trump is looking for a big win to counter this loss at the hands of the Danes and Greenlanders.


One anonymous source said, “If we can’t buy Greenland, then maybe we can buy Scotland. With Brexit coming the English are going to need cash.”

Comment by Stephen on August 24, 2019 at 12:53pm

Comment by Stephen on August 24, 2019 at 12:52pm

Comment by Stephen on August 24, 2019 at 12:51pm

Good one Mrs B. 

Comment by Mrs.B on August 23, 2019 at 1:17pm


HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE

Please do not Google or check this with Snopes. They will lie to you. Trust me!

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband,
"Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods
when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send
messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price.
The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success..
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price,
without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying,
Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew
It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS),
and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures –
Hebrew to the People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the
new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed
that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer,
Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.
Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with
Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was,
soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

Comment by Doone on August 18, 2019 at 9:17am

Trumpissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self-image and attributes. The term originated from the early days of the internet, where the old Donald Trump fell in love with his own image reflected on television or twitter.

Comment by Stephen on August 17, 2019 at 10:11pm

Comment by Stephen on August 17, 2019 at 9:26pm

Comment by Mrs.B on August 17, 2019 at 2:26pm

I think he figures money can buy anything.

 

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