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CHURCH S_X SCANDALS! (Betty Bowers)

Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, has been well known to make observations regarding the…See More
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The Onion does it again :-)

God Admits Humans Not Most Impressive Creation

'It's Mountains,' Says Divine Being

JULY 18, 2012 | ISSUE 48•29

The Lord told reporters that even a cursory glance at a mountain will show it is superior to all humans.

Calling the selection "not at all challenging" to make and "kind of a no-brainer," the deity explained that while He felt the human species was a good creation and worthy of praise, a human being simply paled in comparison to the sheer awesomeness of a snowcapped 20,000-foot mountain.

"Mountains, above all else, are undoubtedly my most splendid creation," God proclaimed. "Mountains are incredibly tall. They are also miles wide and are filled with millions upon millions of tons of earth. These facts alone make them objectively more impressive than human beings."

"Mankind is a good creation, as are the rest of the creatures that roam the earth, but eventually all humans grow old and die," He continued. "Mountains last forever."

Enlarge Image God's Reasons Why Humans Are Inferior To Mountains

Calling the geological structures the most important creation to Him, living or dead, of any on the entire planet, the Supreme Being stated that all one needed to do was stand a human being side by side next to a mountain to see how "clearly superior" a mountain would be in virtually every measurable category.

He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness told reporters that mountains were significantly more pleasing to look at than people, primarily because mountains could be seen from very far away, featured numerous interesting topographical features, and did not grow more unattractive with time the way people did.

Read the rest here

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Replies to This Discussion

God IS Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The people at Onion are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, because mountains are incredibly tall, then, that's why they're more impressive than human beings! LOLz

A image of God on the March from Head Like an Orange

Ewwww! I was eating my supper while watching this!

@ Hope. Don't you like millipedes? 

That gif looks like a hose on legs.

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