This happens every time. The new year comes on. The last one vanishes. So, where did it go? It was here a moment ago. I can’t be that pissed surely to loose a year. And yet his happens everywhere. But time is strange. As someone remarked it stops everything happening at once. So to stop this confusion time dilates what would otherwise be chaos. Thus Auckland New Zealand starts off the new year, loosing the old first. Followed by Sydney blasting eight tons of fireworks into the summer night. Hong Kong playing both western and eastern music as is becoming a world city, Paris where they behaved themselves. For the French even the conservatives love a revolution. New York, where it rained. And not a toilet in sight for nearly a million.
After that then the new year’s resolution. Though time and time again never coming through. Nor even intending. Having forgotten original intentions. I know we usually laughed even when pretending this was going to last: this I promise- blah blah blah. It usually centred on cigarettes and drinking. Until next time. Which always was sooner than later. Even as prices went up by politicians milking the masses. To keep election promises they simply couldn’t afford. So hit the drinkers and smokers year after year.
A few, certainly not many, none that I knew personally anyway decided to go onto diets. Of sorts. Plenty to choose from. None effective. Must absurd. At first there was this no-starch insistence. Which worked only for the very few anyway. Like my mother. But for reasons of her kidney. Reduced to one. Her diet truly woeful. But that was also lack of imagination. She should have tried a cook book. Or Asian stir fry.
Being healthy is actually a curse. On the mind. Certainly not inductive to being happy. Vegetarians they are the worst. In the west. Not the East. Where it is done naturally, without effusive self congratulating embellishments. Except for the social media possessed. Stuffing their content all over the internet.
Or the truly weird endlessly drinking water. Out of plastic bottles. Which certainly does nothing for the flavour. As if in a desert trek with Rommel’s Afrika Korps. You never saw him or even the Tommies sucking endlessly on bottles of water. Nor Bedouins, outback Australian Aboriginal desert nomads who survived that environment for millennia. Never suffering from dehydration.
All this expert advice. Invented by experts totally self styled. With degrees to prove their pedigree. The last word on everything. No coffee for instance. As Laplanders drink it by the dozen. With no side effects upon the heart. Unlike their urban counterparts. Probably due more to the absence of particle pollutants spewed out by suburban car drivers. Killing thousand continuously. Not that electric cars are any better. More power stations pumping more heat into the atmosphere instead.
The awful imposition upon our diet of things that go ‘lite’. Without any flavour, substance or nourishment. I accidentally bought some of this lite full flavoured block cheese. It tasted like rubber. Which ought to make anyone suspicious of its degraded contents being actually good for you. Or lite cottage cheese. New improved flavour! Tastes like a plastic imitation of what it once was. I mean cottage cheese is in and of itself an excellent product which needs no reduction. But the experts have conned the consumers that even lite milk is the way to a healthy diet. In Europe it was only recommend for patients who had something life threatening. Anyway animal fats are actually good for you. They boost the auto immune system. I just can’t find the quote. There was a study done years ago, by a real nutrician expert in the U.S. About the butter wars. How margarine replaced this excellent source of nutrition. By artifice, statistical obfuscation and sheer bloody minded corporate corruption. Buying their experts to convince politicians, ever so easily led, this oily slimy industrial excrescence was the solution to many health problems. In fact this study discovered that when American ate butter, meat, cheese and milk, and smoke and drank heart attacks where lower than since all these new improved, lite, sugar free, fat free, going for the minimum of carbohydrates heart attacks have increased dramatically. Even for non smokers. Non drinkers. Consumers of water.
Ignoring of course that, for a better definition I shall use the word ‘ethnic’ for the ancient cuisines of Asia and Europe. Where everything is eaten with joy and pleasure. No neurosis about calorie content. They have known like for ever what is good and what not. Even if ‘maccas’ crawls across continents. Proof aplenty that the Mediterranean Diet has been proven effective for longevity. As they drink and smoke as they have done for centuries. Like the French. Defying heart attacks as well. I did this ‘alcoholic intake’ with ‘Der Spiegel’ last year. Answered it honestly. When I had been a worker a while back. Because I confess: I’ve stopped all my indulgences. But not for reasons of health and the usual propaganda. It all faded away and that was that. So back to the survey. I pretended to be in my mid forties. Drank four days a week on average. I hated sitting at home watching TV. It really depressed me. So we went out. Often and always. Restaurants, bars, venues, pubs with live music. On weekends with friends to avoid the Saturday meat market. The result according to the Germans that everything is OK! In fact a recent article about recovering from the festive revelries was to try and keep at least ‘two days alcohol free’. What joy what common sense. What realism based on expert advice by empirical data which allows you so much to enjoy. Sadly negated by anal retentive experts in need of exhibiting their dubious research. To prove a point to equally ignorant politicians handing out research funds wily nily. Attracting the lowest common denominator from the field of academia.
Coming up with this oxymoron of ‘responsible drinking’. It is really so funny. Beyond logic and comprehension. Or now in a pub – this in Sydney which I have left for a third and last time where they now say: ‘you’ve had enough’ when I had hardly begun. But the moment you laugh and even gesticulate suspicion falls upon you that –gasp- you might be enjoying yourself!
Not much help from the current youth I’ve seen. The digitally screwed. Their heads eaten by the machine. Conned by not really clever algorithms who anticipate the lowest common denominator and, this is incredible, succeed in convincing the digitally compromised they are getting what they seek. Sitting in a pub. Staring with intent at this tiny screen. Not even drinking their drink. Neither talking nor interacting with their friends, their partners is simply not happening.
The machines are breeding morons. This is so easily made manifest. In forums for instance where research is considered anything from Wikipedia. Which is really mere superficial oversight. It is not substantial content covering whatever subject one pretends to have some knowledge thereof. So the result of these attentive deficit bloggers is to create vacuous nonsense pretending at informed pretense. Finding inherent flaws is a pointless exercise given the impression this type of social media, blogging specialist, thousands of followers, following robotic feeds without ascertaining the difference due to their regrettable shallowness is a worry in itself. They have to make decisions about their lives at some time as we all do. Of course they’ll run to an app for the solution. Because the more of them that are used the less neurological connectivity in their brains are woven into complexity creating innate intelligence. Then again this is a corporate and political wet dream. Finally the masses become compliant at the press of a button.
Luckily there are the semi if not totally disconnected. I had a pile of friends who went out. Ignoring the internet. These people with a life attitude are there, globally not convinced about the hype of some streaming sensation the product of corporate bilge done to perfection. Bands are still playing in pubs large and small. Artists still learning how to mix their oils on different mediums. Books written, dreams visualised with many who are in with the street life.
To them I raise my non existent champagne glass for an exceptional new year. May it be demented, exceptionally deluded, deranged for good measure and of course appropriately dysfunctional to confuse all preconceived norms.