Hello world, i currently feel like shit.Literally,just like how i used to whine on the floor during my sujoods whining to the sadistic God of Abraham(aka God,Yahweh,Allah). But now i am thinking,was Allah that sadistic.
But what is the reason I am fucked. I am an atheist. In new york it feels like atheists are everywhere,but im a special atheist. I used to be an (extremely) devout Musilmah(fancy arabic for Muslim),which sucks when religion is such a taboo topic. Christians will shut their ears off when i talk about the absolute fucking mind-rape religion is.
Dear fellow atheists... or at least "normal atheists" (Im a special atheist) DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT US LIKE TO BE JAILED IN A FUCKING MIND-GAME OF HELL.But before we get into the hell Gag,lets talk about my conversion to Islaaaaam.
I was raised an atheist. ok end of story right. Nope I one day needed inspiration for a resume/interview plan to get a job at McDonald's so i could buy this sexy calculator from a friend. I got in trouble at school and was still living with my parents who forced me to sit in a fucking chair all day,so the Quran was absolutely hilarious reading at night... until i believed it so. So after a conversion to islam and seemingly endless abuse by my parents and after i moved out of my parents house,islam was cool and i had a close relationship to Allah.
In the meanwhile of these events my parents sent me to a mental hospital for shit i did years ago becuase they didn't want me becuase i was a Muslim. I develped OCD at the hospital. Like serious fucking OCD where it made me insane and shit becuase it took me about 40 minutes to wash myself before prayer,and during the process i would go apeshit washing EVERY FUCKING MOLECULE OF MY SELF DURING WUDU(Muslims will whine about this and say "wudu is simple,no need to panic")
FUCK THAT,it was outside of my reasoning,if i missed a molecule,i would go to HELL for not washing EVERY FUCKING MOLECULE.OK(i say that quickly) Let's rap about prayer
"Say every word exactly right or you're a turd and the Lah will send ya ta hell." "puh puh chi.Repeat the same fucking thing over and over again until you forget how many you said it and go insane,till you want to blow out your brain" "Did i says this 5 times or 3,better repeat another 6 times to bicka-bicka be sure" "Oh shit their is a blasphemous voice in my head,fucking shove the words of salat over and over again down your throat till al-shaytan washes away before Ally-LAh will burn you like a goat" "Oh fuck i missed a spot,accidental skipped a rakat hat better start over i forgot" Actually it was more like prayer drove me fucking insane because i kept repeating the same shit over and over again until i said it EXACTLY right,to the point where no though interferes with my prayer. After i moved out of my parents i started to question this fucking gay-ass religion because the quran is full of difficulties. BUT NONE OF THEM PROVE ISLAM IS A FUCKING LIE. IT IS A FUCKING JAIL,IMAGINE GOING FUCKING INSANE PRAYING ALL OF THE FARD PRAYERS,THE SUNNAH PRAYERS,THE NAFL PRAYERS,THE AFTER-WUDU prayers. Here's what the muzzies are going to say, "praying that much is extreme". My response: THE HADITH SAY THAT ONLY 70,000 MUSLIMS ARE GOING TO GO TO HEAVEN,SO EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS FOR GOING INSANE. ISLAM IS A FUCKING JAIL DESIGNED TO KEEP YOU CONTAINED. ISLAM FORBIDS PICTURES ?wtf?. SO YOU CANT USE COMPUTERS OR PHONES OR TV. ISLAM CONTROLS YOUR EVERY-MOVE,HOW YOU WASH YOUR ASS,HOW YOU EAT,HOW YOU FUCK YOUR WIFE,HOW YOU SLEEP(im not making this shit up) So i read the Quran... with the intent of disproving it. I found contradictions in it and with the help of the Internet,i found out that the "scientific miracles" of the quran that keep me jailed in for long were already known before the advent of islam and that they are based on certain translations only ok,now i have some of my old Muzzy firends trying to win me back. What the fuck do I do.