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• Abducted Persephone and literally made her life hell
• Trapped Theseus and Pirithous in the underworld using snakes

• Lured Pentheus into the woods and has his own mom unknowingly tear him to shreds
• Made King Lycurgus slice his own son into pieces
• Partied a lot obviously

• Had lots of ladyfriends
• Caught his wife Aphrodite in bed with Ares, imprisoned them in a net, and took them to Mount Olympus for public shaming
• Made his own mom sit on a magic golden throne that wouldn't allow her to stand back up

• Turned his crush Syrinx into a flute
• Had another crush, Echo, killed because she wasn't feeling it
• Taught shepherds how to masturbate
• Wrapped his junk in a sheepskin and seduced Selene, the moon goddess

• Got with Aphrodite while she was still married
• Killed Adonis, who also wanted to get with Aphrodite
• Basically murdered everyone
• Had his throne on Mount Olympus made out of human skin
• Was such a dick no Greek city wanted him to be their patron god

• Raped Medusa when she was a child
• Slept with his sister Demeter, who turned into a mare to avoid him; he turned himself into a stallion and was like LET'S DO THIS
• Screwed up Odysessus' journey by making him get in a shipwreck
• Made King Minos' wife have an affair with a bull
• Made a bunch of earthquakes when he got bored

• Had A LOT of mistresses
• Hired a nymph to distract Hera from his affairs by talking incessantly
• Turned into a bull and then raped Europa
• Turned a woman into a tortoise for refusing to go to his wedding
• Killed a guy with a thunderbolt for attempting to impersonate him, riding around in a bronze chariot and loudly imitating thunder (which is pretty hilarious TBH)
• Made Prometheus have his liver eaten by a giant eagle every day
• Threw one of his kids off Mount Olympus just because he was ugly
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Permalink Reply by Onyango Makagutu on February 18, 2013 at 1:54pm I like Pan and Dionysus

Permalink Reply by Davy on February 18, 2013 at 4:11pm Dionysus the god of the grape harvest, winemaking and wine, of ritual madness and ecstasy.
Pan the god of the wild, shepherds and flocks, nature, of mountain wilds, hunting and rustic music, and companion of the nymphs
Hephaestus was the blacksmith for the gods.
Ares was the god of war that is why no city wanted anything to do with him.

Permalink Reply by Adriana on February 19, 2013 at 10:51am What about Greek GODDESSES? My favorite is Athena (below) but who doesn't like mighty APHRODITE?
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Permalink Reply by Michel on February 19, 2013 at 11:03am Clearly they have been outnumbered, and that explains why gods had to fuck with humans so much.

Permalink Reply by Adriana on February 19, 2013 at 3:15pm Well, there were a lot of goddesses, actually. I think the Greeks were pretty gender equal-opportunity in their pantheon of deities. Here is a list of Greek godesses, and some of them are pretty bad-ass, such as (besides Athena), Artemis, Nike, Persephone, Hecate, Leto, Hera, just to name a few.
I think ancient religions were not as patriarchal as the Abrahamic religions.
Permalink Reply by Marianne on February 19, 2013 at 10:37pm The greek goddesses are a bit less impressive in their bad deeds; anyway the whole lot of them must have had great fun !
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