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We are a worldwide social network of freethinkers, atheists, agnostics and secular humanists.

Freethought and Funny Bones

Information

Freethought and Funny Bones

A group for freethinking humor. Let's share a good laugh, it always helps to see things more clearly.

Atheist Universe Comedy Cellar

Location: #life
Members: 62
Latest Activity: 5 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Mexican Flag From Trump Tower in Canada

Started by Mrs.B. Last reply by Mrs.B Aug 23. 4 Replies

In the news…Continue

..., because there is no god.

Started by Tom Sarbeck. Last reply by Tom Sarbeck Aug 19. 11 Replies

Donald Trump, because there is no god.

Tags: godless

Begging

Started by Mrs.B. Last reply by Mrs.B Feb 26, 2017. 7 Replies

In the news…Continue

The Stand-up Comedy Clip Thread

Started by A Former Member. Last reply by Chris Nov 5, 2016. 10 Replies

Post your favorite stand-up comedian skits here. No limits on content, but if it is NSFW please say so. I like the old-timers.   Here's a Phyllis Diller impersonator.    Continue

Tags: humor, comedians, stand-up, comedy

CRACKED

5 Commercials That Hate You, The Customer

By Mike Bedard,Jordan Breeding,Peter I. Santiago  Published: December 15th, 2018 

How To Survive Holiday Parties In Just Three Steps

By CRACKED Readers  Published: December 14th, 2018 

Students Take Down Statue Of Famous Racist, Uh, Gandhi?

By Cedric Voets  Published: December 14th, 2018 

Comment Wall

Nice Comment

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Comment by Davy on June 16, 2013 at 3:29pm

The Lunch Order*

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the

waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous

waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit

came to his table and asked if he was ready to order,

"What would you like, sir?"

He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top

to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.

After she regains her composure she returns and asks again,

"What would you like, sir?"

Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers,

"a quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him

across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers,

"Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."

Comment by A Former Member on June 15, 2013 at 5:59pm

I can only think that means for fishing. As in, the worms are around the backside of the store. I hope so.

Comment by Michel on June 15, 2013 at 11:00am

Worms in the rear?

Comment by A Former Member on June 5, 2013 at 8:14pm
Comment by Michel on June 2, 2013 at 10:48am

Comment by Neal on June 1, 2013 at 6:38pm

I like. =)

Comment by Davy on June 1, 2013 at 3:53pm

Puns for the educated mind!

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
    He acquired his size from too much pi.


2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,
    but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


3. Her husband said she was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.


4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class,
    because it was a weapon of math disruption.


5. No matter how much you push the envelope,
    it will still be stationery.


6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
    and was cited for littering.


7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
    would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


8. Two silk worms had a race.
    They ended up in a tie.


9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.
    The police are looking into it.


10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
    One hat said to the other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head."


13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said:
    'Keep off the Grass.'


15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.


16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


17. A backward poet writes inverse.


18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts.
    In feudalism it's your count that votes.


19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.


20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.


21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards a plane
    The stewardess looks at him and says, “I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”


22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
    One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'


23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
    Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.


24. Two hydrogen atoms meet.
    One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
    The other says, 'Are you sure?'
    The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'


25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal?
    His goal: transcend dental medication.

Comment by Neal on May 20, 2013 at 6:46am

Smoke'm if you've got'm. Yeah, Santa passed in the 70s; fell asleep with a pipe burning, big old beard went up in flames.

Comment by Jess M on May 18, 2013 at 3:09pm

In response to "9 Ways Christmas in the 60s Was WTF"

Santa smokes?!?! lol That was funny. :)

Comment by A Former Member on May 18, 2013 at 10:34am

 

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