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We are a worldwide social network of freethinkers, atheists, agnostics and secular humanists.

Freethought and Funny Bones

Information

Freethought and Funny Bones

A group for freethinking humor. Let's share a good laugh, it always helps to see things more clearly.

Atheist Universe Comedy Cellar

Location: #life
Members: 62
Latest Activity: 4 hours ago

Discussion Forum

..., because there is no god.

Started by Tom Sarbeck. Last reply by Stephen Oct 22, 2017. 1 Reply

Donald Trump, because there is no god.

Tags: godless

Begging

Started by Mrs.B. Last reply by Mrs.B Feb 26, 2017. 7 Replies

In the news…Continue

The Stand-up Comedy Clip Thread

Started by A Former Member. Last reply by Chris Nov 5, 2016. 10 Replies

Post your favorite stand-up comedian skits here. No limits on content, but if it is NSFW please say so. I like the old-timers.   Here's a Phyllis Diller impersonator.    Continue

Tags: humor, comedians, stand-up, comedy

Mexican Flag From Trump Tower in Canada

Started by Mrs.B. Last reply by Stephen Sep 1, 2016. 1 Reply

In the news…Continue

CRACKED

5 Beloved Groups Everyone Forgot Did Terrible Things

By Dawn Morrow  Published: January 22nd, 2018 

5 Surreal Realities Black Children Face

By Alyssa Feller,Joel B. Kirk,J.D. Bennet  Published: January 22nd, 2018 

Tabloids Insist A Brain Injury Turned Me Into A Dominatrix

By Anonymous,Saundra Sorenson  Published: January 21st, 2018 

Comment Wall

Nice Comment

You need to be a member of Freethought and Funny Bones to add comments!

Comment by Stephen on March 15, 2017 at 11:17pm

YES YOU ARE.

Photo

Comment by Stephen on March 15, 2017 at 11:10pm

"Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather."

Just love this one.

Comment by Mrs.B on March 15, 2017 at 10:59pm

Canadian Tourism Website
-------------------------

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism
website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Canuck.

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only six thousand km, take lots of water. . .

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)!
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places
to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary.
Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get
here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays
every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight
after the hippo races.
Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers.
Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be
safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R&R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Comment by Mrs.B on March 15, 2017 at 1:39pm

Hahaha....don't really want my food looking back at me.

Comment by Stephen on March 15, 2017 at 9:38am

Comment by Stephen on March 15, 2017 at 7:21am

Animated photo

Comment by Onyango Makagutu on March 15, 2017 at 4:06am

Hahaha
Good one

Comment by Suzanna on March 15, 2017 at 3:56am

Haha good one Mrs B

I like the flood one too

Comment by Mrs.B on March 14, 2017 at 10:08pm

Pest Control
-------------------------

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the woman to her lover, "into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm an inspector from Termite Busters," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards."

Comment by Mrs.B on March 14, 2017 at 8:14pm

That's just weird!

 

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