When I was a little person and was under the influence of my parents they sent me to Sunday school and then to a boys group in it. I thought I was saved and got baptized. For 50 some years I have been living a lie. The romans, Greeks and etc. have always had their gods and goddeses. But it was all a lie. The druids have always had their religion. Pagan hopelessness. But it does not make sense any more. Religion makes mass confusion and science does not. Why all the mass confusion. If this was a will of some supreme being why not fix it. Free will is just that the will to think. I am not a robot and the poor side is all the helpless intelligent people that show up in a building every week waste their money just to be led for what.
The only consolation I can offer you is you're not the only person to have been brought up religious and come to realise the stupidity of it all. I didn't have so it bad, I was brought up in a secular household but was sent to a Church of England school. By the time I was eleven or twelve I had come disavow my church and all its tenets. If anything it was the Sunday school teacher who first showed the contradiction of the Bible story's and its tales of a loving god.