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We are a worldwide social network of freethinkers, atheists, agnostics and secular humanists.

A cousin of mine apparently has gotten engaged.

She's only known the guy for six months.

I apparently am the only one who thinks six months is too short of a time before committing to a marriage.

Don't know that the engagement will lead to a  marriage.

I'm old and grouchy.

What the hell is she doing?

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Regarding marriage.

Do you think it's a good idea to get to know the parents and have a relationship with the family prior to getting married? 

I do.

Thinking that western ideas of 'love' don't work.

I'd like thoughts from others.

Chris 

Chris, what is your cousin’s age?

I ask because I so often see references to women over 30 feeling a biological urge to have children.

I don't know I have never met her. Guessing 35 yr's old. 

Aside from that the cousin in law may think her biological time clock is ticking and wants to ensures she's taken care of by marriage.

It shouldn't be 1950 where a woman has to get married and have babies.  Hearing from others that she is an independent intelligent person.

I spoke with a woman recently married.  I told here that just because she is married that she doesn't have to bear children.  She laughed.   

Of course it means that!

Others?

I think it very much depends on the couple

she'll get divorced in under 10 years--pregnant with babies

I can see it all

unless he's a really good root

then all bets are off

Lutz

And he will pay child support.

More than likely he will get divorced in ten years, pay big dollars for child support and never see the child.

My thoughs are that marriage and child bearing isn't necessarey to have a healthy relationship.

It isn't the 1950''s or --60's where babies were required.

A leave it to beaver house doesn't materialize in todays world.   Anyone who thinks so is out of their mind.

Now I'm hearing via telephone calls  from my cousin and cousin in law that he jumped the gun.  She hasn't gotten engaged.  The couple are just in 'love.'

I don't understand my cousin in law -and why apparently he's pushing for marriage.

His wife is putting the brakes on for the youngsters.

I asked my cousin in law about arranged marriages.  He was somewhat absent about that.  

I argued that prearranged marriages may be a good idea - in that in-laws are less likely to intervene. He said that love is the only thing that matters.  

I think he's wrong.

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